Heart's Survival 4/6

[1lostone]

Title: Rishan D’Kahf-spol (Heart’s Survival)
Author: 1lostone 
Rating: NC-17
Universe: TOS+ Reboot
Words: 22,259
Beta: jademac2442
Pairings: K/S and of course, K/S
Warnings: None really. Some angst and h/c.
Summary: Jim and Spock , who can barely tolerate working together, let alone come anywhere near the epic friendship they’re supposed to have, find themselves on an inhospitable (but strangely not uninhabited) planet- stranded from the Enterprise.
A/N: Written as a pinch-hit for the trekreversebang for  swordsart 's amazing art. Also thanks to my cheerleading squad, jlm121  ,  littleboycalico , and yesterday_girl 


Link to Art:  Here

Link to Fic: Chapter 1  |  Chapter 2  |  Chapter 3 |  Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 |  Chapter 6

Chapter 4

Kirk watched as the kid jumped a little, squinting at Spock when he spoke. Something flicked over the younger face, and Kirk found himself shifting imperceptibly closer to Spock as he talked.  

“This can’t be happening. I mean, really? What are the chances of crash-landing on a random planet in the middle of nowhere and meeting.. ourselves?”  The words sounded glib and amused, but Kirk could see wariness on the kid’s face, as though he wasn’t willing to accept anything without proof.  Strangely, Kirk found himself approving.

“Well, unfortunately our instruments were going haywire before we ended up down here. Maybe we can move somewhere that they’ll work later. But right now, I have to admit that I’m not too keen on the idea of the rest of this ceiling falling down on top of us.”

“We have not had the opportunity to explore the premises. Our primary concern was finding shelter.” The other Spock spoke without inflection, but Kirk could see that he had not relaxed in the slightest.

There was a short, tense silence while the four of them eyed each other like children picking for teams. Kirk cocked his head, his lips twitching. “In the interests of cooperation, how about this.  I’m sure that you are just as ... leery of us as we are of you.” He laughed, pleased that it didn’t sound nearly as forced as it felt. “I mean, it’s not like people step into alternate realities every day!”  Kirk watched the two men give each other a significant look. It was uncanny. Whatever was happening here- it was bizarre to see that the two men... well, the man and the Vulcan... they even seemed to act the way that he and his Spock did.

Spock seemed to understand where he was going with this and seamlessly continued Kirk’s line of thought. “It would, perhaps, be advisable to move to an area that is more structurally sound. I have medical equipment with me and we can use it to tend to your injuries.” He paused for a moment. “If that is acceptable?” Thunder seemed to punctuate Spock’s sentence.

Kirk could see that the kid was dead on his feet. He looked around, moving the light so that he could better see the other man’s injuries. He offered the light to the other Vulcan, being careful not to brush his fingers with his. Kirk still wasn’t one hundred percent sure that this wasn’t some elaborate hallucination, but he wasn’t going to take the chance that this alien version of his Spock pick up what he was feeling. Kirk bent, rummaging in his pack for another flare.

“Okay. I’m just going to look around. Spock, why don’t you assist here?” Spock’s eyebrow managed to communicate exactly what he really thought of that suggestion. It didn’t, Kirk reflected, really take all that much skill. His First Officer wasn’t particularly pleased with him.

Kirk had to hide a little twitch of his lips as he turned away, activating the flare, holding it up so that  he could better see the room. He heard Spock rustling in the bag and took a few steps away, wanting to examine the archway that had brought them here. The first thing he noticed was that there was no arch. Another one of the statues was nestled in an alcove, but there was nothing that looked as though it would take them anywhere. Frowning, Kirk looked to his left.
The room was not overly large. To the left of where they stood was what looked to be a ramp. Kirk moved cautiously, hand near his phaser. His mind was whirling, impossibilities and strange scenario upon stranger scenario shifting through his thoughts as he looked. The ramp wasn’t too steep. There was a door that stood sentinel at the top of the ramp, but it opened with a click and a squeak of hinges. The muted conversation stopped immediately.

“Just a door. I’m fine, Spock.” Kirk called back over his shoulder. He could practically hear how displeased Spock was with him traipsing about the strange room by himself.  It wasn’t like there was anything he could do about it, though. They needed somewhere they could try to figure this craziness out.

Curious now, Kirk took a step inside, only to be met with another door. This one did not open easily. Kirk had to shove at it with a knee braced against the surface before it would open, but strangely, this door opened silently. Kirk gasped, blinking at the sight.

There was light, dim from the storm, but enough that Kirk could see the entire room. In one corner steps led up to what looked like a trapdoor. Even more interesting was the thousands of glass panels that reflected the light. The rain seemed to have a faintly purple cast to it, giving the shadows on the floor an odd color. Windows lined the room. He could see what looked to be a desk, and shelving of some sort. Whatever had sat on the shelves had disappeared into dust long ago. He turned around again, stepping through the first door, then the second.  

“Hey! I think I found us a place to hole up!”

Now if they could just figure out what the hell was going on, they’d be in good shape.

---

---

Spock was not used to feeling out of his element. Yet, when the two walked towards him, their footfalls falling directly into sync it caused a small feeling of... well, Spock was not adept at naming emotion, but the first word that came to his mind was trepidation. He felt a completely illogical sense of foreboding when he saw the blue science uniform and the captain stripes on the green wrap-around tunic of the other man. It wasn’t that he sensed danger from the other Vulcan. Quite the contrary. If anything there was a fierce protectiveness for his captain. An almost obsessive curiosity. It was the same sense of .... of... recognition that he felt with the Ambassador.

Spock knew that this was an alternate version of himself. And if that was himself, then the being next to him... had to be another Jim Kirk.

He listened as everyone identified themselves, edging slightly closer to his Jim as he swayed on his feet, exhausted from everything. The alternate Jim was older, and somewhat stockier than his own Jim, but the sense of confidence, even in the way he moved in such bizarre
circumstances was also familiar.

Jim winced when the other Kirk lit another flare, and Spock fumbled for his medical tricorder. “Commander Spock. If you raise your arm by .049 meters, the light from the flare will shine at an optimal level for me to read this medical equipment.”

His counterpart nodded and did as he requested. Spock had duties to see to. It was the utmost of illogic to ignore his duties to his captain, even for a moment. He watched as the other Spock bent, pulling out equipment that looked significantly older than Spock’s own tricorder, yet was easily identifiable as a regenerator. They worked in silence for a moment, until a large squeal of hinges caused them both to wince. Jim even moaned and tried to sit up, grumbling with two sets of Vulcan hands pushed him back down.

Spock tightened his controls when he saw the other Vulcan touching his captain, and worked in silence, feeling the muscle in his jaw twitching slightly in response to the pressure he exerted on his back teeth. He forced himself to relax and continue the examination. The medical tricorder gave the blip that signified a low battery. Spock had to resist the urge to roll his eyes, making a mental note to discuss the Chief Medical Officer’s rather lackluster adherence to medical equipment protocol.

Jim blinked up at him in the eerie not-quite darkness. “Things’ll get confusing having to call everyone the same name.”  His words sounded like he was attempting to ignore the pain from his shoulder and ribs. “What’s your middle name? Is it .. Mikey? I bet it’s Mikey.”

Spock raised an eyebrow.

The other Spock raised an eyebrow.

Jim’s grin seemed very bright in the semi-darkness. His bright gaze went from one face to the other, clearly amused.

Spock was saved from having to respond when he heard Kirk’s bellow; he’d found somewhere for the four of them to go. He set down the useless tricorder and watched as Jim lifted up his shirt for the other Spock to apply the regenerator to Jim’s ribs. The equipment from the other timeline seemed to be working, judging from the way that the pain lines around Jim’s face seemed to relax. Curious.

Spock felt another jolt of something unpleasant, followed by shame so bright that it took him a measured breath before he could control it. He desperately needed to mediate. Spock knew that he shouldn’t be jealous that someone else was assisting Jim with his medical needs. It was ridiculous. The height of illogic. It was much more important that Jim be healthy than who administered his care, yet Spock could not seem to control himself. He sat back on his knees with an abrupt movement. “I will go help the Captain investigate our surroundings.”  

“Good idea, Spock. Then I think we need to talk. This shit’s gone a little crazy and I’m beginning to realize that it’s not all from my head wound.”  Jim’s lips twisted into a wry smile as he nodded at him. Spock found himself nodding back as he walked towards where Kirk had disappeared.
He found himself slightly dizzy and used the wall to steady himself.

“Hey, you okay?  I didn’t notice before, but you look like you got a bump on your head too. Do you need to sit down?”

“I do not.”

In the pale light, he could see the details of the other man’s face. At first glance, he did not look at all like his Jim. Instead of the arresting blue, this Kirk’s eyes were a strange golden hazel. Spock could see that the older man had faint laugh lines around his eyes.

“That’s uncanny. It’s like I can see little bits of him in you, but obviously you are not my Spock. How the hell were you able to become a Commander so young? And the kid? He looks like he should be busting ass as a yeoman. He’s what, twenty-two? Twenty-three?”

Spock blinked. “Captain Kirk was field promoted. The circumstances of his... promotion were quite profound.” An understatement, to be sure.  Still, Spock did not relish sharing the details of his own timeline with this man.

“Yeah, I bet.” Kirk clapped his hands together, changing the introspective moment between the two. “Look, I think we can use this room to rest. One of the planes of glass... or whatever that is... has been broken, but its not letting in too much rain. We can probably burn some of this stuff without causing too much trouble. I’m just a little leery--”

The sharp sound echoing from the outer chamber caused them both to break off, turning as one back to the doorway. It sounded like someone was in pain. Spock found himself running to where he had left Jim with the Commander.

The green flare had been cast aside. He could see Jim’s eyes were closed, face pale with pain. The older Spock was leaning over Jim, his fingers pressed into the skin of Jim’s face, spread in a heart-wrenchingly familiar pattern. Somehow within one moment and the next, Spock found himself bent threateningly over the other Vulcan, his fingers wrapped around the other’s wrist, pulling his fingers away from Jim with a sharp jerk.

“Krokiah!”

He watched as Jim’s body arched, watched as he stretched his neck out as though looking for more of that contact.  It was a movement that Spock had seen his own mother do countless times. His heart trembled in its side as he watched Jim arch into another’s touch.

“Let him go.”  

Kirk’s voice was an unwelcome intrusion. Spock darted his furious gaze up to the warm hazel eyes, not missing the flash of... something on the human’s face. Spock looked down at the Commander, forcing himself to release his wrist, finger by tense finger.  He was hyper-aware of the blank look on the Vulcan’s face- as though he was ripped from a mind meld every day of the week. Spock took a step away from him, uncomfortably conscious that he was still breathing heavily.

“Spock?” Jim rubbed the back of his neck, shooting him an uncertain smile.  “It’s okay.” He made his way to his feet, stepping purposefully between the two Vulcans.  “Sorry about that. There’s some... stuff in our timeline that Spock was.. uh. Making sure you didn’t see.”

Jim seemed oblivious to the slow blink and raised eyebrow of disbelief.  Spock found himself gritting his teeth again as Jim attempted to explain what he saw as truth. It was not Jim’s fault  that Spock had not even spared a thought for the impact of the two alternates knowing about Vulcan’s demise and the reasons behind it. “Indeed.”  The not-quite lie sat on Spock’s tongue like rotten gespar  in the unforgiving Vulcan sun. “My apologies, Commander, Captain.” The words tasted like dirt on his tongue as he spoke.  

Jim offered him an uncertain smile.  It was a smile that Spock had seen often. Not like the bright grins he usually offered Doctor McCoy, or the wicked smiles that Jim gifted Nyota, or even the indulgent smiles he shared with the rest of his bridge crew.  Spock had seen this smile forty-two times since he had accepted the post as Jim’s First and each time it was though Jim lacked some of the cockiness that was so prevalent in everything he did. Jim’s hesitancy almost spoke of a nervousness, as though he didn’t trust Spock’s willingness to answer.

And true, Spock had not exactly gone out of his way to make overtures of friendship to his Captain. Even if he was not entirely sure that all he wished to enjoy with the Captain was best termed ‘friendship,’ Spock had no inkling of how one broached the subject.

The Commander’s voice was purposefully mild when he spoke, jarring Spock out of his thoughts. “Ni'droi'ik nar-tor, Spock. Sh n'fai-tor ton ihv-tor sa-telsu. Spock nodded in acknowledgement. While he could understand that the Commander might not have meant to pry, he still could not tramp the feelings of jealousy that his touch on Jim had caused. He completely ignored the fact that the Commander seemed to think Jim and he were mated; ignored his reaction to Jim being referred to as his mate. His actions had not been those of a lover, but rather those of an officer concerned for his captain's well-being.

“You guys found somewhere for us to go?” Jim broke the tense silence.

“Yes. There’s a little room over here. It should work nicely. There’s light, which is nice.” Kirk’s voice was mild enough, but his gaze had hardened mistrustfully after observing Spock’s illogical actions. Spock could feel its force, no less compelling than his own captain's gaze, and found himself  ashamed, unwilling to meet Captain Kirk’s gaze.  

“Did you have other equipment with you when you fell through the ceiling?”  The Commander’s voice was soft when he spoke.  Spock didn’t miss the way Jim shivered at the smooth tones. It was perhaps a side effect of the interrupted meld, but Spock found himself digging his fingernails into the meat of his hand, hidden by the rigid line of his back.

His own actions were unacceptable.

“No. Not really. Right, Spock?” Jim’s hand felt like a brand on his shoulder and Spock jerked away. His shields could not withstand  the unrestrained emotionalism that Jim broadcast at all times. He simply did not have the strength to do it.

“No. We should go.” Spock turned on his heel and walked back towards the other room, knowing that the others were following him by the scrape of boots on the stone. Spock winced from the pale light illuminating the small room, the headache that he’d managed to ignore returning full-force. Spock blinked, walking to the windows and looking out onto the landscape.

He could see that the storm had blown itself out, but the wind whipped the plant life into a mild frenzy as the deeply lush vines twisted and turned with the force. The ruins in which they had taken shelter were situated on a plateau. The planet’s two suns were a darker red lower in the sky as they set.  It was uncanny that he could not hear any evidence of wildlife. No brush animals, no sound of insects. Other than the large creature that habituated in the planet’s ocean, he had no other evidence of life on the planet.

As though a reminder, Spock heard Jim’s heartfelt groan as he sat his pained body down on the raised dais and turned to see him stretching out of the corner of his eye.

“Okay, guys. Let’s get comfortable. I mean, I’m sure that you’re as unsure as we are about the validity of having alternate versions of ourselves walking around,” Jim’s smile was all teeth.

“Actually, Captain, I believe that---”

“Actually, Captain, I believe that---”

There was a long, strange silence broken only by a snort from Jim, as he unsuccessfully tried to stifle a bark of laughter.  “Wow, it’s like.. Spock in Stereo. But seriously, we really do need to figure out what to call everyone. I keep thinking you of ‘Mellow Spock’ and “Grouc’-er, I mean....”

Spock felt his eyes narrow. His shoulders straightened and all at once he was again aware of  of the feeling of vertigo he’d previously experienced. Spock shifted so that his back was resting on the windows, trying to shape the threads of his control into some sort of barrier to the headache he felt.

Jim, unaware that he was in any distress, hurried on. “My friends call me Jim.”

Kirk stood with his legs braced, hands resting lightly on his hips as he grinned at the younger version of himself currently stretching carefully, favoring his aching shoulder. “I think Kirk would be fine. It would be confusing if  anyone were to call out,’Captain!’ We’d both be looking around like idiots.”

“My alternate has been referring to me as ‘Commander’. I believe that is sufficient.”

“Which leaves you with Spock, hey! What are you--Sp--- Spock? Spock!”

With a sound like a snap of his fingers, Spock felt his control give; his tenuous strength of his own awareness slipped, and he slid into unconsciousness.  

---

---

Kirk heard the panic in the kid’s voice and was moving before the other man could even get his tired body to up from his painful sprawl. He caught Spock as he slid to the ground, grunting as the Vulcan’s heavier mass knocked him off balance.

Spock was at his side in an instant, the kid a half-step behind him and falling to his knees with a small pained sound. Spock’s voice was calm, but the small look that he darted to Kirk over Jim’s head was not. “He is exhausted. His body needs to meditate, but his injuries are preventing him from reaching that level of comfort.” He moved Spock, feeling at the bump behind the younger Vulcan’s ear. Kirk watched as Spock reached in his bag for the medical tricorder, frowning down at the reading.

“Captain, the mechanical instruments are not working at optimal levels. I noticed this when he attempted to scan his Captain...” Spock broke off, looking from Jim’s wide eyes to Kirk’s slightly harder gaze. “Indeed, there is insufficient data for conjecture at this time. I suggest that we make him comfortable, and as soon as his body has healed itself, he will likely slip directly into a meditative doze.”

“But, he’s gonna be okay, right?”

“I see no reason that he should not be.”

Kirk watched as the kid’s shoulders slumped a little with relief. Jim reached back to rub his neck, wincing at what Kirk assumed to be a bruise there.

“Look, ki-.” Kirk stopped and started again. “Jim. You two are pretty banged up. I think you should hang out here. Maybe try to get some rest. Spock and I can go and see if we can find some food or something.”

“But what if you guys disappear again? Shit, I’m not exactly all the way positive that I’m not hallucinating you as it is.”

Kirk smiled. “Well then. You’d be no worse off, now would you? Rest. Get your strength back. We’ll be back before you know it.”

Jim looked down at Spock, bending to straighten his first officer’s out-flung arm, his hand hoovering over the mussed hair as though he itched to smooth it back into a straight line.
“Alright.”

“Alright then. Spock, you’re with me.”

Spock, just raised an eyebrow,stepping calmly to his side. It hadn’t escaped his notice that Spock had been strangely quiet since he’d melded with the kid. Or how pissed off he himself had been when he’d seen the kid arching up towards his Spock. Kirk knew exactly what that jsick sort of jealousy felt like, and was appalled at his reaction.

“Yes, Captain.” Spock’s smooth tones gave away nothing; his face was the same impenetrable mask as when he was at his most logical. Kirk just nodded, itching to go outside. He picked up the Starfleet issued bag, emptying it of medical equipment on the off chance that they actually found food. They walked through the two doorways in comfortable silence, tacitly agreeing to wait until they were out of earshot before speaking. The dark seemed excessively dark after the relative brightness of the other room. It didn’t take long to see where the floor had fallen in.

“Captain. I believe that it will be most efficient if you boost me up. I can then haul you up.”

“Okay.” He bent down, sighing. Spock wasn’t exactly a lightweight. He was nimble though, and almost seemed to hop up to the high part like a cat. Kirk didn’t have much of a chance to prepare himself before Spock was stretching his long body down, grasping his forearm, and hauling Kirk’s bulk up the hole in the ceiling. Kirk blinked at the feeling of weightlessness, then had to shake his head. For a second it felt as though Spock’s hand had slid against his as he helped him up. Kirk tugged down his tunic and took a deep breath, ignoring the way his hand seemed to tingle, looking around at their surroundings.

“Captain. Perhaps we should walk some distance away before beginning our discussion.”

“Sounds good.”  They walked around to the left, and Spock stopped for a minute, blinking in Vulcan surprise.

“Fascinating, Captain. It appears that the core that you buried has bloomed into a... tree.”
Kirk opened his mouth and shut it, quickly disregarding the wisdom of arguing with a Vulcan. He looked around, trying to find some sort of landmarks.  The landscape had changed. What was once lush and overripe, was now almost wild and overrun.  He turned in a quick circle.  “Veragon IV has changed, Spock. Everything is...” Kirk trailed off, looking at the remains of the temple.

“Indeed.”

They were both silent as they followed what had to be Spock’s path from wherever they had landed. The trail of broken leaves and tattered shrubs and flowers had been easy to pick out in the mass of resplendent plant life.

Kirk saw the crashed shuttlepod and blinked, surprised. It was easy to see that the other two versions of themselves had crashed landed on the planet. Spock stopped, shifting into what Kirk thought of as his “thinking” stance, and stared off into the distance of the light green waves, crashing onto the lavender sand. On a whim, he removed his boots and socks, curling his toes into the sand, grinning to himself at the silly indulgence. 

“Okay, Mister Spock. Spill. Give me your best guess.”

That got the expected response, a quick twitch of lips and quirk of eyebrow. “I have no need of a mere guess, Captain. I believe I may have informed you of this on several previous occasions.”

Kirk grinned, bending over to dust off a rock. He didn’t much relish the idea of parking his butt on the bare sand. No matter how up-to-date and well designed the Starfleet uniforms were, it was a sure bet that he would end up with sand up his ass at some point if he wasn’t careful. And if there was anything that he’d learned on the three and a half years of serving on the Enterprise, it was that alien sand... itched.  “So you have. Have a seat.  I think I understand why you had us come all the way out here. So come on. What are your thoughts?”

Spock sat near him, every muscle in his body tense.

“I am struck by the changes, and yet the similarities that both planets pose are fascinating. You will recall the trouble we both had breathing when we crossed through the arch?”  

The question had Kirk nodding. He did. It had been like knives in his lungs.

“Precisely. I would have to take samples to be sure, but I believe that we are now several years in this planet’s future.”  Spock didn’t move, staring out at the crashing waves. “While this is hardly the first time an unknown species has waylaid us for their own purposes, this has a feeling of...necessity to it.” Kirk opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Spock continued. “Initially I melded with Jim to ascertain if they were real. I had hypothesized that they were in actuality shades or a hallucination brought forth by the young being that had led us to the temple.” Kirk couldn’t help the dark twist of his gut at the familiar way Spock spoke the name ‘Jim’. Kirk knew the meld had forged that connection. He had hated the sight of his Spock touching that Jim as much as the other Spock had.  

“In our arrogance of determining that no one habited this planet, we ignored the possibility that a species, more powerful than our own, had no need of our investigations.”

“Well, it was pretty benevolent.” Kirk thought back a  few hours ago to when he had met the being. “If anything... and believe me I know this sounds completely absurd... it felt like I was supposed  to follow her. That we were supposed  to go to that temple, to.. find those other versions of ourselves.”  Kirk ignored the way his skin broke out in gooseflesh.  “Now that I put it into words, I’m not too sure that I like that idea of ...”

“You are speaking of Destiny, Jim.”  Spock turned to look at him. Kirk stopped picking at the itchy braid on his wrists and looked up, surprised. “If what you say is true, then does it not follow that we were intended to meet those alternate versions of ourselves?”

Kirk blinked, shocked.  “Spock? What did you... see in that meld?”


Chapter 5