Heart's Survival 6/6
Jun. 22nd, 2011 10:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
1lostoneTitle: Rishan D’Kahf-spol (Heart’s Survival)
Author:
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1lostone Rating: NC-17
Universe: TOS+ Reboot
Words: 22,259
Beta:
jademac2442 Pairings: K/S and of course, K/S
Warnings: None really. Some angst and h/c.
Summary: Jim and Spock , who can barely tolerate working together, let alone come anywhere near the epic friendship they’re supposed to have, find themselves on an inhospitable (but strangely not uninhabited) planet- stranded from the Enterprise.
A/N: Written as a pinch-hit for the
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trekreversebang for swordsart 's amazing art. Also thanks to my cheerleading squad, jlm121 , littleboycalico , and yesterday_girl Link to Art: Here
Link to Fic: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6
Chapter 6
Spock blinked into awareness, confused as to why his cheek hurt. He had been meditating, choosing to go into a state deep enough that he could heal quickly. Spock opened his eyes to Jim’s gaze, concern plain in the bright blue depths
“I’m sorry, Spock. You said to hit you if something happened, and .. well... you’re not going to believe this.”
Spock arched an eyebrow, quickly taking stock of his inner controls. He felt stronger, although his head still ached abysmally. He watched the emotions flick, too quickly to name, across his captain’s face. His eidetic memory flashed on the alternate Kirk, and they way that Spock seemed to understand his captain’s moods, needs, and emotions with flawless precision. For a moment Spock’s shoulders slumped. It seemed as though he would never be able to emulate that closeness.
“Uh, I saw feet. Starfleet feet, to be specific. I wanted to make sure you were awake before they found us. Which should... uh, be any minute.” Jim rubbed the back of his neck, looking off towards the door. “I wonder how the hell they found us?”
Spock, noting the lack of alternate timeline personas, had a few theories on that subject. He cocked his head, and sure enough he could hear voices- too many to be their alternate selves- around the planet. Jim stood and held out his hand, and to Spock’s surprise, he took the offered help. He suppressed a wince at the still present vertigo. “That news is most pleasing. I confess, I look forward to resuming my duties. It has been an...” Spock paused, eyebrow arching up to his hair line, “...interesting day.”
Spock was rewarded with Jim’s bright burst of laughter and pleased, turned to meet the security members that made their way through the door to the small chamber.
“We have found both the Captain and Commander, Lieutenant Scott.”
“Aye. We never thought we’d be findin’, ya, Captain. Commander. If you don’t mind my saying so.”
“Not a problem, Scotty. Ready when you are. Get us off this damn rock.”
Before Spock could comment, the familiar swirl of transporter energy took him from the planet, reforming them on the transporter pad. Before he could blink, a furious McCoy took a step forward, so irate that his mutterings were lost in the accented drawl of his Terran ancestors as he scanned the both of them.
Spock did not find this development to be too much of a loss.
Unfortunately, McCoy broke off at Jim’s hearty call of “Bones! It’s good to be back!”
“Sickbay! Get your damn arms off me, you fool of an infant. God knows what planetary contaminates you’ve picked up!
Spock stepped off the pad, stepping to the right to avoid Jim’s most unseemly display of excitement at seeing his friend again. Perhaps his controls were not as firmly entrenched as he had previously believed. He did not like the unrestrained way that Jim threw his arms around his the doctor. Most troubling was the realization that what he was feeling was the same jealousy that he’d felt on the planet when his alternate melded with Jim.
“And don’t think for a minute that you’re gonna sneak off to your lab or whatever. Get your pointy-eared behind to my bay immediately! And yeah, you can count that as an order.”
Spock suppressed a sigh, gesturing for the doctor and Jim to proceed him through the doors. He listened to Jim telling McCoy all that had happened from the time he woke up. Spock knew that there was much more to the story, and did not relish the medical debriefing McCoy was sure to put him through. Bizarrely, he know that he had done nothing improper. McCoy would approve, albeit grudgingly, at all of the ways Spock had executed his most important duty: keeping the Captain healthy and whole. Yet, Spock was astounded to find that to allow McCoy to think his actions were motivated only by duty did not sit well. His brief healing trance and restorative meditation on the planet had brought home several truths to Spock and the fact remained that he could no longer truthfully maintain that his actions were unmotivated by ... a personal regard for the young, brash man that had become his captain.
“And then? Like, this giant sea monster threw the shuttle at the beach, like an old holo where someone spits? Paah- toooie!” Spock watched as the doctor raised an eyebrow, muttering under his breath again as he adjusted something on the tricorder, scanning Jim’s head more carefully to check for a head wound after Jim told the story. “Didn’t it, Spock? And Bones! Spock was completely badass. He saved me.”
Spock, unprepared for way the full force of Jim’s pleased gaze hit him, faltered as he stepped out of the turbolift. It was disconcerting, to say the least. “Indeed. Doctor McCoy there are several factors of which you need to be briefed. Captain, the particulars of our landing might best be discussed behind the closed doors of the doctor’s office.
Jim’s face fell. “Oh. Of course, Spock.” Jim was silent the rest of the way to sickbay. He stared at nothing in particular, obviously deep in thought as they walked. Spock could feel McCoy’s hard, introspective gaze on him as they walked, but Spock found that he had no comment on the matter. Well, not one that he could readily articulate.
McCoy wouldn’t allow anyone else from medical to check them over. He was meticulous, occasionally hemming or hawing at a healing bruise. Spock watched as the doctor ghosted his fingers over Jim’s shoulder, the lines around his mouth becoming more pronounced as he frowned. The wrist and half-healed ribs got the same treatment. Jim just continued to watch McCoy work, thoughts still focused inward, seemingly unconcerned with his surroundings. “Okay, Jimmy. You look pretty good.” Spock watched as the doctor smacked Jim lightly on the back of the head. “Don’t even say it, you vain little bastard. You’re taking the rest of the alpha, beta, and gamma off, Jim. You can play with your ship tomorrow. Now go wait in my office.”
Spock watched impassively as the doctor put on gloves, turning to him and examining the large bump on the base of his skull. He too was quiet, listening to the soft sounds of sickbay, the soft hum of the regenerator as it worked to heal the swollen flesh. Spock was pleasantly surprised at the doctor’s courtesy. He was quite certain that he had no wish to confirm any of the human’s illogical emotional responses to his presence. “You experiencing any headaches? Dizziness?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not surprised. You had a concussion.” The doctor took a step back from Spock, crossing his arms over his chest, staring at him broodingly. “Look. I know you would rather snuggle with Chekov’s teddy bear in the mess hall then spend a night here in my sickbay, so I’m willing to compromise. I’ll assign someone to check in on you and trust that you will set an alarm so that you wake up every four hours, but you gotta tell me everything that happened. You wouldn’t believe the strange shit I just saw.” He blew out a frustrated breath.
Spock showed no surprise, again inwardly pleased at the doctor’s thoughtfulness.
“Now come on, before Jim falls over on his damn feet.”
Spock slid smoothly off the biobed and walked to the doctor’s office, standing aside to let him in. Spock’s gaze went right to where Jim stood, looking out into the stars. The doctor had situated his desk so that he would not have to look out onto the vast emptiness of space. When the doctor crossed to his desk, he clasped Jim’s undamaged shoulder, and Spock had to look away at the slight grin he received for his efforts.
“Hey Bones, how did you guys find us? That’s been bugging me.”
When the doctor smiled, it was all teeth. “That’s easy, Jim. I received a message from someone who referred to himself as Ambassador Selek.” His gaze narrowed at Jim’s wince. Spock had to confess, he was interested in hearing how Jim knew his counterpart as well. The doctor sat down, swinging his legs up so that they were propped up on his desk. “Okay you two. Cop a squat. I’ve had a fucking weird day and I want to know what happened. And Spock? Jim? Y’all better not leave anything out.”
Spock stood in the sonics, head bowed as he the dirt and sweat from their mission vanished. It was times like these that he wished he could abide an actual water shower. Him mother had not often spoke of things that she missed when she moved to Vulcan, but after strenuous activity, she often would mention how much she wished for a ‘nice, hot bubblebath to soak away her troubles.’
He found himself with much to think about.
Spock slid into a black mediation robe, ironically a gift from the Ambassador, and sat behind his computer console, entering the subspace frequency. Presumably, there were only a few people who the Ambassador allowed an unrestricted access to his comm, yet he always seemed available when Spock desired to speak with him.
It was so now. It was jarring to see the wizened visage. He always looked for commonalities that he and the alternate version of himself shared. Now though, with the younger man’s image so fresh in his mind, he could see the similarities more clearly.
“Moi tema, Spock. I confess, I did expect you to contact me much sooner.”
Spock responded to the greeting, stretching his fingers in the ta’al. “Moi tema, Elder. I am... I have queries.”
“I would expect nothing less. But first, I wish to convey my gratitude. I have desired to do so for... quite a number of years.”
Spock sat back in his chair, raising an eyebrow.
“If my Jim and I had never met you, then I fear I never would have found my T'hy'la”
Spock was not prone to displaying illogical bouts of human emotion, but trusted that his shock was conveyed by the slight widening of his eyes. The ancient word was often sought after, but very rarely realized. “Your T'hy'la?”
The Ambassador’s lips twisted in a soft smile. “Exactly so.”
Spock remembered the words the Ambassador had spoken to him with sudden, sharp clarity. ...Because you needed each other. I could not deprive you of the revelation of all that you could accomplish together, of a friendship that will define you both in ways you cannot yet realize. ...
His breath felt too harsh for his lungs.
As though reading his mind (and it was dismaying to realize that if anyone could it would be this being in the monitor across from him) the Ambassador held up a hand; a surprisingly human gesture that halted the flood of words before they could spill from Spock’s lips.
“Spock. It amuses me to find that you and Jim are so very different from myself and my Jim, yet there are so many things that are similar... I know I need not tell you that just because events unfolded a certain way in my universe, it does not necessarily follow that things will unfold the same exact way here.” The Ambassador spread his hands to indicate the world around him. “When I melded with Jim on Delta Vega, it was astounding to me that it was even possible to meet the young captain again. For you see, in my reality, it was the second time we had met. The glimpse into his mind was powerful. I confess that I had ruminated on it several times over the long years of my life, and later after Vulcan’s destruction, wondering how likely it was that I was able to meet the same dynamic mind under such circumstances.
Spock clenched his fists, into the folds off his robe, unseen under the table. Jim’s mind was not some ... morsel to sample. He had always been quick to anger, and this was no surprise that fury was what he felt now.
“So you have manipulated him twice.”
The Ambassador’s bushy eyebrows hiked up past his hairline. “You are angry.”
Spock forced himself to take a deep breath. “One does not expect to begin to acknowledge a... regard for someone, only to find that they have been manipulated into the events that proceeded it.”
The Ambassador blinked. “Uncanny. Your Jim had nearly the same response.” He shifted in his seat, leaning forward slightly. “Only his was much less polite. Several years ago I encountered the same alien species that brought the younger version of myself into your timeline.”
Spock could see the memory play out on the ancient face, and attempted to hold his tongue. It was disconcerting to realize that the roundabout way the Ambassador had of leading up to his point had been learned from their father. It was that, as much as the desire to hear what the ancient version of himself had told Jim, that kept his mouth silent.
“They wished to thank me. For what, they never communicated. But their thanks was.... Their race had mastered the manipulation of time, across hundreds of billions of different universes. It was a very small thing for them to allow us to cross over to your universe, and yet such a small thing....” He sighed. “One minuscule act of kindness was responsible for my greatest joy.” The Ambassador blinked. Spock refrained from commenting on the wet eyes, instead looking down at his table for just a moment.
“I have sworn to myself that I would not reveal other aspects of my time to you. And yet....” The Ambassador’s voice hardened, the tired old eyes sharpening in sudden focus, meeting Spock’s gaze unflinchingly. “And yet. When you hear of the launching of the Enterprise B, or hear of a planet called Veridian III, do not attempt to contact anyone there. No matter what you must do to ascertain these events, do not allow James T. Kirk to set foot on that damnable planet.” The harshness of his voice didn’t change. Even if you never see that species of aliens again, even if these events do not happen exactly as they did in my timeline, you must promise me, Spock. Swear on our mother that you will not allow him to go there.” The ambassador broke off with s harsh breath.
“Hey, Spock?”
Spock’s neck turned so quickly that he felt his vertebrae pop. Jim’s silhouette was outlined in the doorway of their shared ‘fresher. Of course. He had forgotten to engage the privacy lock.
“Is everything... okay?” Jim took a step inside the room, dressed only in sweatpants, a towel around his shoulders. Spock’s breath caught at the sight, and to his shame was struck dumb, unable to respond to Jim’s question.
“He is fine, Captain. We have been conversing.”
“Rii-iiight.” Jim looked from the monitor to Spock’s stiff form and back. “Like the ‘conversation’ you had with me? Look.” He stepped into the room, agitation obvious in the taunt line of his body. “Sorry, Spock, but this is bullshit.” Spock blinked as Jim bent down slightly so that he could look directly into the Ambassador’s eyes. “Look, sir. I get that you loved your Jim. And god knows I get the idea of doing anything, and I do mean anything, to save someone you love. My whole life, literally, was shaped because my dad completely adored my mom enough to do everything he could do to save her.
And you, Spock wanted to add, but refrained. His glance quickly flicked from the monitor to Jim’s face.
“But here’s the thing. As awesome as that was for you, and as many similarities as there may be between you and us,... we’re not some chess pieces that you can just push around. I don’t know if I believe in your destiny, or if it’s just one old guy meddling where he doesn’t need to be, but please. Respect us enough... at least to let us figure it out for ourselves.”
Spock had no trouble recognizing the small amused twitch of the Ambassador’s lips at Jim’s impassioned tirade. “My apologies, captain. And now, Spock, I find that I have several duties that require my attention. Please don’t hesitate to contact me should you have further need of me.” He smiled. “Employing my customary farewell is still self-serving, so I shall simply say... Good Luck, Spock. Captain. And Farewell.”
The transmission ended and Jim seemed to realize just how close it was that he was standing to Spock. He started to step away. Spock’s hand whipped out, grasping his bare forearm with more force than he intended, keeping Jim where he was.
“My father once attempted to advise me regarding the paths one must choose in their lifetime. He said that we are fully capable of deciding our own destiny, that we must face the fact that only we can decide our own path to chose.”
Spock heard Jim swallow and stood, so that he was at eye-level. “I do not know...” Jim’s respiration rate had increased twelve percent higher than his normal rate of breathing. “I. I am at a loss to explain how we should, I believe the phrase is, ‘deal with this,’ but I do know that there is no one that I trust more to assist with such an endeavor.” Spock forced himself to release Jim’s forearm and take a step back.
“Uh. You know the craziest thing? It’s there. It’s like, I feel that we really could be amazing friends. Like me and Bones, only ... more. But it’s all fucked up in my head to where I don’t know what’s real, and what’s that old you messing things up. I mean, we work well together. Well, you know how it is. You’re like my right arm. Everything we accomplish is because of this way we get each other. But... that’s on duty. Off duty we don’t even see each other. But...” Jim bit his lip, trailing off as though he was not quite certain how to best finish his sentence.
Spock nodded. “While sufficiently more colorful than I may have chosen to term it, your explanation is not without merit.”
Jim’s smile was bright in the semi-darkened room. Spock watched as Jim leaned forward, the lips that had occupied his thoughts brushing against his once, twice, before he took a quick step back. Spock pressed his lips together. He could feel a strange sensation, like a low grade electrical current buzzing along his skin when Jim’s slightly chapped lips slid against his. They were both frozen for just a moment, staring at each other in surprise.
Jim took another step back. Spock thought the slight blush that stained his cheeks was oddly appealing. He cleared his throat. “So...”
“So.” Spock turned away, not missing the way the expression on Jim’s face fell a little. He walked the few steps to a cabinet and removed the case. It was one of the few gifts from his mother that had not been obliterated with his planet. When he had left Vulcan to enter Starfleet, it had been done hastily. At the time, he did not have the inclination to pack the small things that Spock had kept in his room, but his mother had made a special point in sending many of them to him in one of the numerous ‘care packages’ that had arrived every three months, sent directly to his student quarters at the Academy.
Spock opened the case, tilting it so that Jim could see the 3D chess set. He allowed himself a small smile at the dumbfounded look on Jim’s face.
“Perhaps you would enjoy a small game of chess?"
THE END!!
A/N: Be sure to go to love on the artist,
swordsart . I was a pinch hit- but the funny thing is, this was the piece that I had initially seen and spazzed out over, and I GOT IT!!!! :D:D:D It's so damn pretty! I hope that I managed to capture Kirk kind of being a letch, albeit a letch who is in love with his favorite Vulcan. I hope that you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I mean it; this fic wouldn't have happened without jademac2442 , jlm121 , littleboycalico , and yesterday_girl > I was extremely nervous about writing TOS, but I had to give a nod out to the old school ezine romance novely feel many of the fics have. As always, I welcome any concrit and/or comments. Thank you for reading!!! 
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Date: 2011-06-23 12:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-23 12:02 pm (UTC):D
Thanks for listening, for reading and for cheerleading bb.
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Date: 2011-06-23 05:25 am (UTC)The shuttle tossing tentacle sea squid was hysterical. Especially when Jim was recounting the tale to Bones. McCoy sent lube? Perfect! I almost spit crystal lite at my screen.
The fact that what we thought was a first encounter between Ambassador Spock and Jim in the movie was actually a second encounter and it was the first encounter that set the epic T'hy'la relationship in motion for Spock Prime so he could return the favor later was a mind grinder. I mean the time travel paradox you created is amazing. How do you DO that?!
I know I am being greedy but this SO needs a sequel. I need to see the fruition of meddlesome "Selek's" labors to keep Jim alive in this time line for Spock. I wanted the story to go on and for both puppies to get a grip, cut the old man a break and move out of denial and have at it already so Prime would not have a breakdown or anything else deemed by Vulcans as "undignified" LOL
So, I will leave my epic rant of *SQUEE* right here with a not so subtle request for MORE! Great Job!
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Date: 2011-06-23 12:04 pm (UTC)If you knew how nervous I was about writing tos, you'd laugh. I just kept asking what if what if ... and that's what I came up with. :)
As to a sequel, hmm. I don't know! I'll have to think about it... :D
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Date: 2011-06-23 09:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-23 12:05 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked it bb and thank you!
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Date: 2011-06-25 04:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-25 12:07 pm (UTC)So I had like this image in my head of all these leigons of old school k/s slashers like WHY YOU WRITE THEM SO WRONG?????? hee
Thanks so much! I'm glad that you liked it :)
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Date: 2011-06-25 09:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-25 12:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-25 12:45 pm (UTC)The tentacle monster throwing the shuttle on the beach was my favourite part - tentacle monster tantrum! Hilarious!!
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Date: 2011-06-25 02:08 pm (UTC)Thanks for saying that bb! I was REALLY nervous about people being confused. I'm glad that they weren't!!!
AND. I love your icon. zqsucks is one of the best things in this life. :D
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Date: 2011-06-26 10:04 am (UTC)Isn't it just? I've thought I should have more icons and change things up a bit, but this one is so appropriate - when there's a fic, comment etc that I love, this icon says it all :)
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Date: 2011-06-25 01:28 pm (UTC)Wow!!!!
This was fantastic! Wonderful characterizations and story telling, completely engaging, a terrific read, start to finish!
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Date: 2011-06-25 02:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-26 02:23 am (UTC)Loved it :)
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Date: 2011-06-26 02:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-27 02:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-27 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-27 06:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-27 09:24 pm (UTC)also, thank YOU. I'm glad that you liked it :)
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Date: 2011-06-28 12:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-28 01:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-28 01:13 am (UTC)Thank you so much for stepping up and writing this. I truly enjoyed reading it.
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Date: 2011-06-28 01:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-29 06:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-03 12:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-02 07:39 am (UTC)loved the art, and loved this too!
snork!! captcha ask me to type, practice istopeen -- hee, captcha got its dirty mind again! sure, I'll practice da peen... since ya asked so nicely hee hee
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Date: 2011-07-03 12:10 am (UTC)hehehe. CATPTCHA IS FULL OF WIN!
Ty for reading and commenting, bb. I really appreciate it. <3
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Date: 2012-01-25 02:51 am (UTC)I really like the way you bring the two universes together.
And I also love your ending. I mean, it would really have been a bit soon for the younger ones, to profess their love for each other and live happily ever after. The way you've done it, expresses the different timelines of their relationship so well!
Also: Mickey as Spocks middlename? I'm borrowing this as my new headcanon, if it's ok :)
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Date: 2012-01-25 03:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-25 05:47 pm (UTC)Not that I don't like nufic or anything. I'm just glad the old characters get to live on, too :).
Thank you for reading the comments and answering!
I'm late to the fandom and sometimes I wonder if the authors still monitor old stories and if it's correct to still comment.